Non-Mail-Order Seed Potato Death Clocks

For a theatrical performance that I have written, I required the procurement of a large number of russet seed potatoes upon which to inscribe semi-arbitrary dates of death; I needed enough potatoes to fill my acoustic guitar case, which amounted to roughly 30lbs/37 russet potatoes.

With the assistance of my wife (a data scientist and master of algorithms), I generated 37 prospective death dates and used a black Sharpie marker to affix the dates to their potatoes.

These potatoes will soon be made available to those who attend my performance, a truncated version of a play called “The Last PowerPoint”; I wonder how these Seed Potato Death Clocks will be received (especially given that they are not going to be received via mail)?